Narrative / Counternarrative

 

Narrative / Counternarrative

Dominant narrative: One of the key threads in my learning narrative is that I have been successful as a learner. A part of my narrative identity (McAdams, 2011) in education is that, when my mental wellbeing was in good form, I was a good student, successful within the system. Or, at least I understood the system in which I was engaged well enough to succeed within it. I chose subjects I could do well in and avoided those that were not suited.

My narrative identity was reflected in two prominent measures of success: the grades that I received for my efforts, and feedback from teachers on my submitted work. Success was measured in how well my work met the expectations and standards set by the curriculum - a situation seen to be not only unproblematic but actively aspired to by everyone.

A counter-narrative:
The counter-narrative to this is uncomfortable: that I was only ever as clever as I thought I was because I engaged in a system that reflected my culture, used my language, was steeped in my Pākehā cultural background, enacted in a learning environment where I understood the rules, and reflected the same understanding of the world that I grew up with. The curriculum was made for me to succeed.
For much of my education, I have taken for granted the fact that I belonged within its systems. I moved from the magical consciousness of primary and even high school through to a naive consciousness (Freire, 2000) that began to form in tertiary education - though even then, I felt that I belonged, that this system was for me and it was certainly not my problem if you felt otherwise.
As I continue learning, a critical awareness is creeping in, I am “developing, strengthening and changing (my) consciousness” (Montero, 2014, p. 296) and increasingly understanding of the effects of this system on others - those who do not feel they belong, who do not see their worldview or cultural understanding of knowledge reflected.

Smith (2005) talked about Māori being part of the struggle against the Pākehā hegemony whether they liked it or not, whether they knew it or not; this must also mean that Pākehā, as wielders of that hegemony, are a part of it also - whether they know it or not, whether they like it or not. One question I find myself asking is this: why would members of the cultural hegemony (Pākehā) challenge and change a system that so heavily favours them? 

Moving from conscientisation to transformative praxis (Smith, 2005; Freire, 2000) I must engage - intellectually and physically, emotionally and even spiritually - in a kaupapa that sits outside the worldview that has been reflected back at me, ratified and celebrated, throughout the entirety of my educational experience.

In my experience, for those who wear it, privilege is weightless - in order to feel it, to understand that perhaps you are part of the problem requires stepping into discomfort. It is interesting to explore and understand the discomfort this involved, and to wonder what it would take for others in my position, those like me, particularly Pākehā, to do so also (Hotere-Barnes, 2015) - I am beginning to think that understanding this may just be central to creating change in the Western Dominant education system here in Aotearoa New Zealand.

References

Freiri, P. (2000). Pedagogy of the oppressed. Continuim.     

Hotere-Barnes, A. (2015). Generating ‘Non-stupid Optimism’: Addressing Pākehā Paralysis in Māori Educational Research. New Zealand Journal of Educational Studies, 50(1), 39-53. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40841-015-0007-y     

Montero, M, (2014) Conscientization, in Teo, T. (Ed.). (2014). Encyclopedia of critical psychology. Springer.

Smith, G. H. (2005). Beyond Political Literacy: From Conscientization to Transformative Praxis. Counterpoints, 275, 29-42.